Wednesday, April 25, 2012


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Why do Men Cheat on Their Partners?

Are you a woman who suspects that your man is cheating on you? If you do, you may be interested in catching them in the act. But, first, you may have a number of questions. One of the most common questions asked by women who have been cheated on is "why do men cheat?" When it comes to determining why men cheat on their wives or their girlfriends, it is difficult to come up with an exact reason. Why? Because men cheat for a wide range of different reasons. For example, your boyfriend may cheat for one reason, but one another man may be cheating for a whole other reason. Despite the fact that it is difficult to determine exactly why men cheat, namely your man, there are a number of common reasons. These reasons, a few of which are highlighted below, may be the cause of your cheating husband or boyfriend. 1 -To Get Out of a Relationship What do you do when you decide that you went to end a relationship? If you are like many other women, you breakup with your boyfriend or ask for a divorce from your husband. For some men, this is a lot easier said than done. Those who fear breakups, often opt for cheating instead. These men often wish to get caught, as most women will not put up with a cheating partner. What does this mean? It means that some men use cheating as an easy way to get out of a relationship. Unfortunately, most men don't take the pain of a broken heart into consideration. 2 -Unfulfilled Desires Unfulfilled desires is another common reason why some men cheat. In these instances, men do not want to end their relationship with their girlfriend or wife. In fact, they may truly love their significant other, it's just that their desires aren't being fulfilled. All individuals, including both men and women, have sexual desires. If those desires aren't being met at home, a man may turn elsewhere. Aside from the sexual standpoint and the act of cheating, these types of men often have otherwise healthy relationships at home. 3 -An Improvement in Self-Confidence There comes a point in every woman's life when she looks in the mirror and thinks "what has happened to me?" Men go through this same experience. Whether it be increasing in age, a change in physical appearance, or a generalized decrease in self-confidence, many men are afraid of what they see or what they have become. These men often need an uplifting experience. Unfortunately, not all men opt for something adventurous like skydiving or rock-climbing. Many other men decide to have an affair. 4 -Convenience Unfortunately, many wives and girlfriends make the mistake of assuming that affairs are long-term term and last for weeks, months or years. In fact, a large percentage of men who cheat only have what is commonly referred to as one night stands. This is when they have sexual relations with another woman and return home to you, possibly never seeing that woman again. As for why men have one night stands, many do so because it is convenient and because they can. Also, in these types of situations, alcohol is typically a factor. 5 -Just Because It is important to remember that a man doesn't have to have a reason to cheat. There are some men who honestly don't care about who they hurt in the process. There are other men who simply just make a mistake. If you think that your man is cheating on you, it may be more important to focus on what you should do, as opposed to dwelling on why he decided to cheat in the first place. As highlighted above, there are a number of common reasons why men cheat. With that said, it is important to remember that men are not the only ones who cheat. Some women are just as bad. Don't let yourself become one of those women, especially if your only goal is to seek revenge.
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Thursday, April 19, 2012

4 Signs of a Cheating Wife

Do you suspect that your wife is cheating on you? If you do, you are definitely not alone. Infidelity is actually quite common these days. You can see it all over television and almost everyone has known someone who has been cheated on, in one way or another. If you are a husband who thinks that your wife is cheating on you, there are a number of signs that you will want to be on the lookout for. The following are four signs that could very well confirm your suspicions. 1 - A Change in Appearance If your wife has gone through a change in appearance, it could be a sign that she is cheating on you. What you will want to look for is small, but significant changes in appearance. For example, has she always worn glasses but has all of a sudden opted for contact lenses? Has your wife recently started showing more skin? Dressing provocatively is a common sign of cheating, especially if your wife typically dresses conservatively. Switching perfumes or wearing it more often can be another sign of cheating. This can be done to impress a new man or to cover up another man's scent. 2 - A Change in Affection A change in the amount of affection that your wife gives you could be seen as a sign of having an affair. For example, has your love life been happy and healthy in the past? Was your relationship filled with fun, adventure, and great sex? If so, has that changed? If your wife no longer compliments you as she did before or does something as simple as pull away during a kiss, an affair may be going on. Many cheating women try to avoid close contact with their husbands in fear of getting caught or letting their guilt show. 3 - Secrecy A wife becoming more secretive can often point to an extramarital affair. For example, does your wife spend too much time on the phone or the internet? If so, what does she say when you ask her what she is doing? If you receive a "nothing," or a "not your business," response, something may be going on. In keeping with phone and internet use, does your wife automatically hang-up the phone whenever you walk into a room? Does she shut off the computer or try to block your view of it? If so, your wife's secrecy may mean that she is trying to cover up an affair. 4 - Changes in Bills One of the simplest ways to catch a cheating wife is to start paying your bills. In most relationships, this is the woman's responsibility, but make it yours. Examine your wife's cell phone bills. Does it show what phone numbers are called or what numbers text messages and pictures are received from? Also, closely examine credit card bills. Are there expenses listed for hotel rooms, vacations, restaurants, or anything else that you have no idea about? If so, your wife may be cheating on you. The above mentioned signs are just a few of the many that you will want to look for in a cheating wife. If you think that your wife is cheating on you, just be sure to keep your eyes and ears open. Unfortunately for the cheaters, they often make mistakes. Many women get so comfortable, that they slip up at one time or another. If you know what to look for, this is when you may be able to catch your wife cheating. If you do find out that your wife is cheating on you, you may want to carefully approach the subject. Never confront your wife in front of your children. No matter how angry you are, do not get violent and try to keep your voice at a reasonable level. As hard as it can be, calming approaching the situation can better allow you and your wife to have an honest discussion. This where you can decide what will happen you to and your relationship next

I Want to Save My Marriage. What am I Doing Wrong?

I really want to save my marriage, but nothing I try seems to work!" If that sounds like the thoughts you've been having lately, don't worry, you're not alone. Whether it's due to well meaning bad advice or just reacting on emotion, there are thousands of us who've made mistakes that just end up pushing our partners farther away. Once you have an idea of where you might be going wrong, though, you have a much better chance of healing your marriage. Pressuring your spouse! It's all too easy to do when you're stressed out, but threatening or guilting rarely help matters. One of the most common forms of pressure is begging. You may not get down on your knees and wail, but if you're pleading, crying, telling your spouse you can't live without them or that they'll destroy the kids' lives, it still amounts to emotional blackmail. Another thing to avoid is trying to pressure your spouse into counseling. Instead of pushing, appeal to logic. For instance, you might say something like "Considering all the time we've invested in each other, isn't it worth a few hours of counseling to save that? Apologizing too much! There's nothing wrong with apologizing for mistakes you know you made, especially when you have a plan to help you keep from making them again. The problem comes in when you apologize for things you didn't even do. It sounds insincere at best and mocking at worse. It also makes you look desperate, which is hardly attractive. More importantly, it doesn't solve anything. Accept your responsibility for 50% of the problems and acknowledge that you have some issues you need to work out together, but if you mean it when you say, "I want to save my marriage," don't take more than your fair share of the blame.umping to conclusions! Even if you've lived with your spouse for decades and think you can read them like a book, you cannot read their mind. Don't assume you know how your spouse feels and why they feel that way. After all, it's possible your spouse has been burying certain emotions about your relationship or unrelated events in the past that are interfering with the present. Dishonesty! Needless to say, lies do nothing to build emotional intimacy. Whether you're hiding your feelings, facts about important events in your past, or your financial details, it all goes to drive a wedge between and your spouse. I'm not talking about those little white lies like "No, honey, I don't think you've put on weight." There's plenty of room for those. What I mean is something that has an effect on the relationship beyond the next 30 seconds like lying about your needs in the bedroom or for time to yourself. Waiting and hoping! This is probably the biggest mistake of them all, yet it's also the easiest to fix. So many people wait and hope things will work themselves out eventually. In the meantime, you and your partner are growing farther apart and any resentment only grows deeper. Marital problems don't solve themselves anymore than they cause themselves. To save a marriage that's headed for divorce, you need to take concrete action now. If you've heard yourself say "I want to save my marriage!" a few too many times, it's very possible you're making some of the mistakes most couples make when their marriage hits a rough patch.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Is a Job Change Right For You?

Happiness is a very difficult thing to seek. The reason why this feeling is so hard to pinpoint is because you can have many triggers that make you feel happy. It's almost like an illusion because you can be very happy one minute and then unhappy the next minute. The key is to find a job that makes you feel overall satisfied. You will want to think about the link between your happiness and your social link. A lot of people find that with jobs that help people it tends to be very fulfilling. You will want to consider that there are of reasons why you could find happiness at another job. The first thing that you will want to do to make your transition as smooth as possible is to sit down and assess what it is that makes you happy. You'll want to make sure that you think about your true feelings and also think about the things that you need from the next job in order to be financially secure and secure within the job field. You obviously don't want to take a job that you probably would be good at, but have never done. You may even want to think about jobs within your current job field. Like, you may want to switch to Accounts Payable instead of staying with Accounts Receivables. You will need to figure out what it is that you want from the next job. Also, if you have a family you will want to talk to your mate and your children about the decision to leave your current job. You will be able to see if you have the support to back you up from the family. If your family doesn't think that the new job is a good idea, you may want to take that inconsideration. Often moving with children can be very difficult. Taking a pay cut to do something that you love is often ridiculous as well. You just need to have the family support in order to give you courage. Everyone needs to jump on the bandwagon so that you can keep the family unit as one. Have you ever heard of the saying, "The grass is greener on the other side"? This is exactly what you will want to think about. How much better could this other job be? There are always reasons why someone will go from one job to the next, but then there are always times where they start thinking that the move wasn't a good choice to make at this time. You will also find that when it comes to moving from job to job you have to look back and reflect on personal experience. You need to learn from your past mistakes. Although you still need to assess and list what your personal needs are at the moment, you will still need to consider that moving on to a new company and a new career is always a scary chance. The fact is, you may not like this job, and if there is any doubt in your mind, then you need to be honest with yourself. Everyone thinks that if they move on to another job they have to see the money. However, money should not be the only reason why you leave your current job and you can't allow it to be the main reason. Money can always be made, but the fact is you still need a job that covers all of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. You need to have a job that covers your safety (security), social needs, self esteem, and self-actualization. You need to look for a job that will give you personal finance security, personal safety, and also job security. You will also need to look for a job that will make you feel apart of something or satisfy your social needs. As for self esteem, you may want to look for a job that makes you feel important to someone or something. Then if you can find the perfect job you will find self-actualization or job satisfaction

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

A Self-Help Guide to Overcoming Prescription Narcotics Addiction

The process is long, be prepared to be sick for over a month. If you work, it would be great if you could just take a vacation as much, sick and personal time as you can because you need it.  I was prescribed narcotic analgesics around 1998 and used for the first 9 years with no problems. I was prescribed Fentanyl patches, Oxycontin and Hydrocodone at different times during this time. In any case, the doctor was left on the flow of what I took. She was the one who prescribed it and knew I was taking.  I can not really say when it started I became dependent on drugs. My doctor called addiction and I disagree. I called addiction …. but, for some reason, I have been demanding more of the medication and use it faster than what was prescribed and I knew I was in trouble. My father was an alcoholic, my brother, a former recreational drug user, so I knew something (dependence) ——addiction seeing my family with their problems  . I spoke with my doctor about it and, for some reason, she chose not to help me on this.  She informed if and when I stopped, I have to go through withdrawal. This was probably his way of “teach me a lesson,” but I did not ask if she felt like that  . In mid-June of 2009 I made the decision to stop. I would be out of pills and refills outside and it just seemed to be the best time to declare my independence. My target date was July 4, 2009 —Independence Day. I watched some reality TV shows about celebrities and rehabilitation so I would have a pretty good idea what I was going. I informed my family of my intentions and started.  The first two days were not too bad, but the third day, I was sweating, nausea, vomiting, and very weak. I could not eat, could not drink – especially water, could not do much except get out of bed to use the bathroom and then stumble my way back to bed. The nausea was bad, I could not keep liquids down, I was able to eat crackers. My husband was scared and asked me to please lay down on the couch where he could watch me. The sofa, the bathroom and bed were as far as I could go.  For two weeks I thought I would die …. then, slowly, things started turning around. The nausea subsided, I was able to keep liquids down and I started to enjoy the beef broth. It tasted heavenly. The weakness lasted about a month and then, slowly, my body started to react and my life started to turn around. Ten years of taking prescription narcotics has vanished in the dust.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Illegal Bad Habits

Some bad habits are not only illegal. They push the envelope of what can be considered merely bad habits. However, in a way they are bad habits. They are definitely bad, and they happen frequently enough to call them habits. Serious fighting can be illegal bad habits. This is the kind of fighting that leads to assault arrests and convictions. People do not think before they act. Or, if they do, they only think angry, destructive thoughts. This fighting can cause injury or even death. Some fighting happens in bars. Barroom fights are bad habits. Too many people are intoxicated. There are not enough reasonable people in the room to calm things down. There are also often shortages in bars. There may be a shortage of available men, or of available women. There may not be enough places to sit. This causes animosity, which leads to fighting. Just being in a bar where fights are known to occur is sometimes a bad habit. Some people, both men and women, have bad habits of domestic violence. They do not think twice about hitting their partner in the face on the way in the door. They have no compunctions about throwing their spouse on the floor, even if she is pregnant. Are these bad habits? Yes, they are the most extreme forms of bad habits. There are illegal money transactions that are bad habits. There are many forms of illegal gambling. There are restrictions in every state about where gambling can take place. The kind of gambling is also regulated. Abiding by these rules will keep you out of jail. It will also keep you from losing money in a betting scam. Shoplifting is an illegal bad habit that young people get hooked into before they even think about it. One day they are going to the store and trying on clothing to purchase. The next day, they are going to the store to see what they can stuff under their coats. This can give a young person a very bad start in life. It can also give them bad habits that are hard to break. Sometimes, people who deal with other people's money decide to borrow a little for an emergency. They find out how easy it is, and they do it again and again. Eventually it becomes the bad habit known as embezzlement. This can land them in jail for years and cause them to pay restitution for the rest of their lives. It can also put the people they took the money from in a terrible situation. Arson is not always a malicious act. It is not always a well thought out scheme to collect insurance money. Some arsonists simply have a bad habit of starting fires. They are obsessed with flames and torch buildings for their twisted pleasure. It is a bad habit that can cause incredible destruction. Bad habits are more than just picking your nose. There are bad habits that can destroy property and ruin lives. It is these behaviors that society must work on.

Emotional Bad Habits

The question of whether moods constitute bad habits is an interesting one. Many mood disorders have been identified. These and other psychological problems are seen by some as strictly bad habits. In fact, it has been shown that continuing to dwell in your present mood perpetuates it. When you decide to pretend you are happy, studies show that you may actually improve your mood in time. This is not a hard and fast rule, but there is some indication that people do have some control over their moods. Moodiness, for example, may be more than bad habits for many. It may be bipolar disorder or some other psychiatric problem. However, for some it may just be that they are giving in to every feeling that comes along. They have the bad habits of not trying to have any control over their whims. Being pessimistic is one of the bad habits that can also be seen as a symptom of depression. Yet, for many, it is just a habit of thought. They may tell themselves that pessimism is a win-win way of thinking. If things go right, you win. If things go wrong, you were correct, so you win. These people can improve their moodiness by looking at the positive side of things in the beginning. Being in a worrying mood is similar to being pessimistic. The difference between the two bad habits is that when you worry, you become obsessed and dread upcoming events. If you have the bad habit of worrying, you can slowly train yourself out of it, especially if you have the right kind of help. Codependency is not exactly a mood, but it is an emotional state. It is a set of bad habits that encourages a loved one to do harmful behavior. You do not want your son to be an alcoholic, for example. However, you constantly make excuses for his behavior to others. If you want him to get better, you have to stand up and decide to stop with your bad habits. You have to hold him accountable for his actions. If you have hypochondria, you have an emotionally painful bad habit. Certainly, a person with hypochondria needs psychological help. However, the treatment that person will receive will probably center on helping them change their bad habits of thought. They will learn new ways to think about illness and their own bodies. This will give them some control over their emotions. If you do a lot of attention seeking, you have bad habits that you can learn to abandon. This could relate back to something in your past. Perhaps, you were ignored as a child because there was some other needier person in the home. You learned bad habits of getting attention by annoying means. Taming this bad habit requires acknowledgement of it, and possibly professional help. Bad habits that relate to emotional states are often hard to break. Sometimes you need help to overcome them if you cannot do it on your own. The sooner you stop doing your emotional bad habits, the happier your life will be

Friday, April 6, 2012

Can One Spouse Prevent a Divorce?

If one person does not want to get a divorce, but one party in the relationship does and it is a no fault divorce, then the spouse cannot stop the divorce. This is called an irreconcilable difference and is a justification for divorce. A spouse can prevent a fault divorce by convincing the court that he or she is not at fault. This is something that they would have to prove and it is up to the judge to decide. There are other additional ways to defend a divorce from happening may also be a choice for some situations. If a person who condones that a spouse is having an affair files for a divorce, the spouse may contest the fault divorce by arguing that the spouse knew of the affair and condoned the action. This is one way for a person to defend himself or herself in court. Connivance is the setting up of a situation so that the other person commits something to jeopardize the marriage. One type of situation to explain is if a women sets up her husband in situation where he is alone with his mistress. This is known as a set up and it is an argument that one can make in court to defend their actions. Provocation is the inciting of a spouse to do a certain act. If a spouse is suing for divorce and claims that the other spouse abandoned them, the other spouse might defend their suit because they were provoked by the abandonment. Collusion is if a couple lives in a state where no fault divorce requires that the couple separate for a time and the couple doe not want to prolong the situation. This may lead the couple to mislead the court and pretend that one of them was at fault just to get out of the marriage. These above defenses are not usually used for a few different reasons. Proving a defense may require witnesses and involve a lot of time and expense. Your efforts will usually bring nothing to the situation. Chances are that a court will eventually grant the divorce. A person should not have to stay married if they do not wish too. The law is designed to give people the opportunity to get out of the marriage if that is what he or she really wants to do. If you are involved in a marriage that you don't want to be in any longer, the process can be hard to get through, but you can make a divorce really happen, and put an end to the marriage.

Stress Reduction 101

Stress can greatly affect our body's normal function; especially if we don't pay attention to the warning signs. Even if we deny the sensations we are feeling on our bodies, we can surely feel that our physical and mental state is breaking down. It is very important for an individual to learn to watch out for the warning signs that stress is already taking control of your system and you need to learn the ways to take care of your body to avoid a total breakdown. Watch Out For The Danger Signs Stress often starts out in our minds before it starts to show some signs on our bodies. Keep in mind that both are linked and one will show some effects of the other. A stress-free mind is often linked to an active and healthy body, but a mind riddled with problems will surely result to a deteriorating health. It is very important for a person to watch out for danger signs you're body is nearing the limits of its tolerance to stress. Often times, we will feel some minor aches and pains in various parts of our body when your mind is getting burdened with all the stress and problems it is subjected to. If left unchecked, it might result to sleeping and behavioral problems, lack of breath, or even a potential heart attack when it is already above the danger level. Mentally Cope With Stress The mind shows the first signs of stress and will later reveal itself to your emotional and physical state when left unchecked. It is essential that we learn how to calm our minds when under the throes of stress and learn to focus our thoughts in order to push the problems out and learn to relax when you need to. This might take some effort if it's your first time to undertake stress management. But there are some techniques you can use to simplify the process and helps you learn it bit by bit. You can start by listening to your favorite music to help focus your thoughts. Try singing along with the lyrics or hum the tune to yourself to divert your attention away from your problems. Breathing Exercise Another method is to focus on your breathing. You can start some exercises which involves breathing in and out in specific intervals. This might take some getting used to on your first try but you will be able to focus on your breathing immediately after some practice. Also, this exercise will ensure that your body, as well as your mind will get enough oxygen for it to function properly. We usually hyperventilate or suffer short breathing when stressed so it's best to practice some breathing exercise to help you cope with it. Eat The Right Food To Fight Stress We need to take care of what we eat if you plan to fight stress head-on. It is essential that our body gets enough nutrients for it to function properly and avoid a breakdown when our mind is getting bombarded with problems. Avoid eating foods that are high in cholesterol and try to focus more on integrating a healthy lifestyle of fruits and vegetables. You might not know it, but healthy foods can also help you in dealing with stress. After all, if you're not burdened with body pains then you can focus more in helping your mind cope with it

What is Anger Management?

Anger is an emotion experienced by kids and adults alike. When something or someone interferes with an individual in a negative manner, it can cause them to become angry. Anger is a normal response to such a situation. However anger can be classed as a mild or intense irritation. Depending on the individual, the circumstance and their emotions, anger may cause a person to become enraged or even furious. People who become angry behave in different ways. Some lash out or become extremely defensive. Other people tend to keep their anger to themselves, bottling up their negative emotions and hurt. While some people become reckless and even abusive. Anger can be a terribly harmful emotion if it isn't controlled.  Controlling anger is considered anger management. The first step to controlling anger issues it to admit there is a problem. Some people have major anger issues but cannot see it. Naturally something happens to set a person off making them angry. Individuals, who have trouble admitting to their anger and accepting responsibility for their actions, often play the blame game. They have difficulty seeing the situation as being their fault. There's always something or someone to blame. Their fits of anger are always blamed on something else. These people could really use a few lessons in anger management. However they need to accept their actions and reactions for what they are, anger.  Many people who have anger issues find it demeaning when anger management is suggested. Unable to accept their problem prevents them from seeking the help they require. If a person continues down a path where they are constantly angry and acting out, it will eventually cause major problems. Without anger management this individual will likely experience loss, loss of their family, loss of their job and loss of their own identity.  It is essential to convince the person with anger problems, anger management is not meant to be a punishment but rather to help them have a better quality of life. Anger management is designed to help the individual work out their problems, help them figure out why they become so angry. It also teaches the person not to be enslaved by their emotions, their anger. Anger management is meant to teach the person techniques which prevent them from getting angry as often or for very long.  There are all sorts of anger management strategies. There are programs created specifically to help those with anger issues. These programs are broken down to address different people, kids, teens, adults, couples and families. These anger management programs are in place to teach or help people to work on their anger. Teaching people strategies for working out their problems and controlling their anger are important in anger management.  Anger may be a healthy, normal emotion but when the anger takes over an individual's life making them destructive and violent, it's a big problem. Not only does the anger destroy the individual but it also impacts everyone and everything around them. Anger management could change this individual and ensure a healthy, normal life.